 Its amazing how time flies. Once minute, you've got a cap and gown on and are wrapped around your boyfriend while your baby sister cries and pleads for your attention. You don't hear it, though. There's too much going on. Too many camera's flashing, too many friends dashing in with hugs, too many yearbooks being hastily thrust around you. She jumps up and down and calls your name, over and over, Carla! Carla! Over here, Carla! But you ignore her because there's always time for that later.
Then you blink and she's twice as old.
Jada Ramos has been the first Ramos child to experience the only child life. Why? Because we all left her. That was what Mami said, at least, when I was reading to her last night. Like it was some heinous crime. We all had each other, but we got too involved in ourselves and left her. She says Papi blames Luz and I for Jada's tomboyishness, and Javier for her bully attitude at school. He says we did not teach her to be a girl, and that Javier was too rough with her. She wants to do things like play soccer or football and has no interest in combing her hair. I tell him she is 8. He throws up his hands. What do you tell someone who doesn't want to hear it?
Mami and Papi have their opinions, and Jada has her own. She's pigheaded. Announced she hated me when I moved back because they kicked her out of Javier's old room so I could have it. Its bigger. She says she's glad we left. Couldn't wait for us to leave. I tried to talk to her last night after talking to Mami and fighting with Papi. I tried reminding her she was still in diapers when Luz and Javier left, and that she cried when I left. Doesn't matter. She thinks what she thinks, and right now what she thinks is that she hates me. Still got her to take that picture with me a few minutes ago, though.
Things are rough here, especially on here, I think. If I haven't said it before to who's reading this, Mami had a stroke. She's gotten better since it... but not 100%. The Doctor says she might not ever. Mami didn't take this good. She cries a lot. Papi just stays more and more at the restaurant. Jada acts out. I wish Luz and Javier would come home. Just visit her. Something.
That is my life now. I went from dancing in Chicago to running Jada everywhere and taking care of Mami. No, that's not a complaint. Its not so bad. I love them, so its worth it, you know?
Just wish I had more time for friends.
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